So having just had a baby nearly four months ago and a major operation two weeks before baby was born (which I will do in another post). This has made me sit down and think about life.
Well to be quite honest I was adopted in 1991 I was 5 years of age at that time and quite frankly I have a terrible memory.
But if I were to ever meet my adopted parents I would wholehearted thank them, below you will find why.
If I could write a letter or have any form of contact with my birth parents, I would. Not for the reasons you might think I have no desire to reconnect to or find my past. I’m completely at peace with whatever decision drove my biological parents to take the route they did. But I do think sometimes it would be nice to see photographs of me as a baby as there isn't any, the youngest photo I think is 1/2 year old. Sometimes I feel there is an emptiness inside me a hole that hasn't been filled and may well never be filled but that is just something that will always be there.
Adoption is a difficult, long and deliberate; there are no accidents in this grand design. To know someone has gone through that much because they wanted you is extraordinary.
Adoption is a funny thing when you think about it. When people find out, you get the awkward question ' so do you know why you were given up for adoption?'
To say I was given up implies I was unwanted, which maybe true I honestly do not know. I’ve been blessed to feel anything but, and I have my parents to thank for that.
That saying 'what kills you makes you stronger' thus meaning an event that hurts you emotionally or physically will produce two circumstances:
the first one being the negative effect of the event making the person "lose them self" .
the second makes the person aware and lets them rebuild to prevent that thing from happening again.
I believe the second one applies to me. I learn from my mistakes everyone makes them not everyone learns from them.
Another saying 'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family' well I believe that you choose your family, they aren’t born to you. Perhaps I value chosen family more because it’s all I’ve ever known.
I know my birth mother is dead she died a few years ago apparently of cancer but no doubt it was down to drugs and drink who knows if il ever find out the truth about that!
I have a real blood brother who was adopted into the same family as me then I have 5 I think half sisters one who does not know she is adopted and as far as I'm aware her adoptive parents do not plan on telling her. I think this is atrocious I believe everyone has the right to know who they are no matter what their circumstances are.
If I had the chance to speak to my parents face to face I'd finally have the opportunity to thank them for the opportunity they opened up for me, the unconditional love I've experienced from my adopted family, for the experience adoption has given me, for all the challenges I faced/face and will grow from and finally for doing what you believed was the right decision because by all means it was.
To anyone who has given up there child, bravo for having the courage, it must be a hard decision to make but no one but you knows those reasons you needed to do it.
I believe all children should have the rights to know if they are adopted to have that opportunity if it is there wish to still see there birth family.
To anyone contemplating adoption — consider the amazing gift of yourself you are about to give and the life you will forever change.
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